


Foolish and Clumsy

by Ecchima



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: And Hanzo is a ball of anger, Clumsy!McCree, M/M, OOC, also Genji's a little shit, as usual, at least it feels a bit ooc, it fits the story and this AU tho, there's a lot of fluff in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8039050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ecchima/pseuds/Ecchima
Summary: AU-ish where McCree is extremely clumsy and oblivious to salt. Hanzo constantly complains about him to Winston and Genji and doesn't understand why they keep such a useless man at the watchpoint.





	Foolish and Clumsy

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first Overwatch fanfic, gosh! I want to thank the people from the McHanzo server for giving me this idea and for being so supportive of my work. I didn't get a beta for this and english isn't my first language so I apologize for any mistake o/

Approximatively a month after Genji’s visit in Hanamura, Hanzo decides to join Overwatch. He’s not really sure what convinced him to do it, perhaps he wanted to try and reconcile with his brother or maybe he had enough of being a mercenary and thought he should seek redemption by his actions.

Whatever the reason, Genji seems happy and excited when he learns about his decision over the phone and hearing his brother talk with so much enthusiasm reminds Hanzo of better times. He almost smiles as Genji starts talking about details. He starts with the watchpoint, where to find it, how to go there, what it feels like and the beauty of the sea. He talks about the things he thinks Hanzo will enjoy (individual bedrooms and bathrooms, training range, the calm and quiet on the roof at night) then he starts talking about the people. Who will be there, who he knows from the old days and who he doesn’t.

At the end of the call, Genji sighs, “I knew I made the right choice when I invited you, brother. I have still hope for you and I hope you will find the redemption you seek and the inner peace you wish for.” Then Genji hangs up and Hanzo is left with his own thoughts.

* * *

The day he finally arrives at the Watchpoint, with only a bag containing what little belongings he has, Hanzo is surprised to find a crowd of people waiting for him. He recognizes some of the faces from old Overwatch posters, others from the bounties on their heads or for seeing them on the news. Genji is among them, waving at Hanzo when he arrives close enough.

The gorilla Hanzo remembers as Winston introduces himself and thanks him for joining them. Hanzo bows his head politely, thanking him for the opportunity he has given him to fight alongside his brother again. He notices a few people tensing as he speaks, they probably know about Genji’s injuries and who inflicted them but they introduce themselves to him nonetheless. He answers each introduction with a slight bow and finds himself a bit overwhelmed by so many people to answer to.

Hanzo knows better than to judge someone at first sight. He’s a trained and skilled assassin and he knows better than underestimate someone based on their first impression but for each member of Overwatch introduced, he can approximately tell their skill level by the way they look and sound. He guesses Reinhardt, Zarya, Soldier 76 and Pharah, for example, have seen many battles and have their fair share of fighting experience. Others like Miss Song or Lucio, don’t. However, he knows that an organization like Overwatch wouldn’t allow anyone in its ranks if they weren’t talented. Especially since their activity is still highly illegal because of the PETRAS act.

But even knowing all that, there is one man among the group who Hanzo can only assume to be the intern or something similar. It seems impossible to him that this person could possess any skill at all. At least on the battlefield. First of all, the man is wearing the entire cowboy attire: Stetson on his head, huge sort of blanket around his shoulders, chaps and spurred boots. Hanzo spots no less than 4 layers of clothes and armor on the man’s upper body, way too many to be able to move during battle. In addition, his boots and spurs makes way too much noise to allow him to be stealthy and if they weren’t enough to give his presence away, the smell definitely would.

However, Hanzo says nothing, doesn’t show his skepticism and lets the man introduce himself.

“Howdy,” the man says, tipping his stupid hat as if it looked cool, “Name's McCree; Jesse McCree.” Hanzo can’t believe his eyes when McCree actually shoots a finger gun at him. He watches as the cowboy raises his hand and starts approaching for a handshake. “Nice t’meet yaaaAAAAAA!”

Hanzo moves aside and looks at the idiot falling after he fucking tripped on his own foot. Everyone around them starts laughing while Hanzo just stares at this McCree dude on the floor. It takes him a moment to notice that the man on the ground is laughing too. As if this is wasn’t the most embarrassing moment of his life, as if this was _normal_.

Little did Hanzo know, this was indeed normal and after a week, Hanzo was convinced that McCree was just some sort of goof they had hired to keep everyone’s spirits up. In the span of no more than 7 days, McCree had tripped on his foot 3 times, broken 5 plates, 8 glasses, lost 3 socks and knocked things over as he went. There hadn’t been a day where Hanzo hadn’t seen McCree bump into a door or a wall only to laugh like a goof after.

“I simply do not understand, Genji.” Hanzo said to his brother on the evening of the 7th day. “I even asked Doctor Ziegler to evaluate his sight but she laughed at me. When I asked Winston if he truly is an agent and not some sort of assistant, he laughed as well.”

Genji tilts his head as he watches Hanzo take a sip from his tea. “Did you truly asked Winston that?” He asks, crossing his arms.

Hanzo can’t see his face but he knows his brother is smirking. The little shit. “Yes, I also asked him why he would keep such a useless man around.” Hanzo frowns. “He did not appreciate my question.”

Genjis shifts, he uncrosses his legs in front of him and looks up at the stars. “I know you think that Jesse cannot possibly fight correctly, Hanzo. I thought so too when I first met him.” Genji looks back at him, slightly hunched-over. “I have never been so wrong in my entire life.”

Hanzo scoffs. He’s not convinced. “You said that the day you dyed your hair with that awful green.”

Genji laughs. “You are right. I also said that it looked cool once I got used to it.” Hanzo frowns. Genji tentatively reaches for his shoulder. Hanzo sees the hesitation in his movements. Instead of a meaningful touch, Genji lightly punches Hanzo’s arm. “You said it suited me, after a while.”

Hanzo scoffs again. “As irritating as it was, it did suit your personality. This is different.”

“Give him time, Hanzo. Let him prove himself to you.”

Hanzo finishes his tea in silence, wondering why everyone seems to like and value this catastrophe of a man. Genji helps him carrying the teapot and mug to the kitchen then wishes him goodnight. Hanzo stays behind to clean. He doesn’t like leaving his filth everywhere, unlike a certain cowboy he can hear approaching.

“Howdy, Hanzo!” McCree greets cheerfully as soon as he sees him. “What’cha doin’ at this fine hour?” he asks, moving towards one of the cupboards.

“I’m knitting a new sweater.” The sarcasm is clear in his voice, yet McCree doesn’t budge and snorts.

“Nah, yer not.” He watches as Hanzo starts to rinse the dishes he had cleaned. “Say, what did ya’ think of dinner tonight? Wasn’t it great? I made it all by myself ya’ know?”

_That explains the splotches of food everywhere._ Hanzo thinks, his frown deepens.

When he remains silent, McCree clumsily nudges his shoulder. “Sooooooo? Wasn’t it good?”

“Exquisite.” Hanzo snaps. He turns the water off and looks up at the cowboy, expecting to see him hurt. Instead, his eyes meet the biggest smile he’s ever seen on McCree’s face.

“Yer welcome, darlin’.” McCree beams, winking at him.

Hanzo’s anger spikes, he’s disgusted by the gesture and McCree’s foolishness. How could he not catch the sarcasm in Hanzo’s voice? How could he shoot finger guns and winks the way he did all the time?

“Say, I was thinkin’… I ain’t really a tea person but I’d love ta try. How ‘bout we drink it together?”

Hanzo smirks, this time he makes sure to pronounce the words with as much venom as he can muster. “I would _love_ to share my tea with you, McCurry. It would be such an _honor_ to spend the evening with someone _like you_. Now, excuse-me but I have more important matters to take care of.”

On his way out, Hanzo hears the cowboy say something but decides to ignore him. He hopes he finally hurt the cowboy’s feelings enough to be left alone for at least a few days. Fools recover fast and Hanzo knows he will have to deal with the man again eventually. The thought deepens his irritation and instead to go to his room, Hanzo decides to go practice for a few hours. He needs to punch something.

The day after, McCree starts following him like a puppy and talks excitedly about them having tea. Hanzo notices that the more excited the cowboy is, the wilder his movements gets. In a couple of hours, McCree has knocked more things down than he has during the entire past week.

_How can he gesture so much?_ Hanzo thinks as McCree knocks down another plant on their way to the common room. He stops to rub the bridge of his nose, trying to collect himself before opening the door when McCree’s enormous clumsy palm meets Hanzo’s face, knocking him over and onto his butt.

“Wow, sorry there partner.” McCree simply says, extending his hand to help him back on his feet.

Hanzo swats the hand away with his own, scowling.

“I do _not_ need your help and I am _not_ your partner.” He snarls before getting up and walking past McCree. He’s had enough of the fool for now.

* * *

 

It takes a little more than a month before Winston is satisfied with Hanzo’s team work and finally lets him be a part of a group for an upcoming mission. His team is composed with Lucio, Hana, Soldier 76, Mei, McCree and himself. It surprises Hanzo that after all the time he spent complaining about the cowboy to Winston, they still ended up in the same team while he could have had Genji instead.

However, after spending a month with the man trailing behind him and insisting upon having tea regularly, Hanzo understood that the best to get rid of McCree is to give him what he wants and ignore as much of the conversation as he can. So it doesn’t surprise him when McCree sits beside him on the jet. The others take place and Soldier 76 takes the pilot seat, announcing that they have a 10 hours trip ahead of them.

“10 hours?! I’m glad I took a game with me!” Hana exclaims. “Do you want to play, Lúcio?”

“Oh, yeah! Today’s the day I beat you down!” Lúcio answers, taking the console Hana offers him. “What about you, Eastwood? Wanna play?”

McCree chuckles. “No, thanks. I don’t much like loosin’.”

“I would never have guessed seeing how you keep trying to charm Hanzo into having tea with you.” The young man nudges, wiggling his eyebrows in a form of teasing.

“I ain’t trying to charm him, I just like spendin’ time with him. Not my fault the only thing he agrees on doin’ is sharin’ tea.” McCree shrugs and the smell of his awful cigarillos reaches Hanzo’s nose, making him grimace.

“Really?” Mei asks, a confused expression on her face. “Because he agreed on helping me learn Japanese the other day.”

“And he agreed to play pokemon against me at least 10 times!” Hana chimes in. “We even went shopping once!”

McCree looks surprised when he looks down at Hanzo again. “Why didn’t ya told me you like all these things?”

“Because listening to your incessant chatting already takes up all of my energy.” He answers coldly.

“Aw, I’m glad you like to listen to my voice, partner but I’d love t’play pokemon with you too someday.”

“You play pokemon?!” Hana asks excitedly.

“Reyes gave me his old game when I told him I’d never played any videya games before. ‘Said t’was a shame that a teenager didn’t know what pokemons are.” McCree starts gesturing as he tells his story and Hanzo catches his arm way too close to his face at least a dozen times before Mei interrupts them, asking McCree if he can move aside so she can sit next to Hanzo and ask him questions about his language.

Hopefully, after a few hours, McCree decides to take a nap and the small cabin falls silent aside from Hana and Lucio’s games. Mei is reading some kind of science magazine so Hanzo opens his handheld device to play some go against the AI.

After losing against Lúcio for the first time since they had taken off, Hana refuses to play again and starts asking questions to Hanzo about his game. He explains her the rules, answering her questions. When she challenges him, he smirks. It has been a long time since he last played against someone and even longer since anyone challenged him at the game. It is a bit complicated and old fashioned, after all.

Hanzo beats Hana easily the first time but the gremlin learns quickly. She loses the four next games then teams up with Lucio. They almost defeat Hanzo twice but they arrive to destination before they can beat him.

On their way to the warehouse they will be staying in during their mission, Hanzo can hear Lúcio ask McCree why he keeps trying to talk and spend time with the archer. McCree chuckles as if this was a stupid question.

“Well, we’re friends!”

“Dude, I’m sorry to tell you this but I’m pretty sure Hanzo doesn’t really like spending time with you. Why would he act so coldly if it wasn’t the case?” Lúcio asks, his voice careful.

“He’s said some nice things! He complimented my cooking skills on his first day here!” McCree answers, pride swelling is words.

“It’s called sarcasm, McCree.” The smaller man sighs, skating away.

Hanzo lets out a weary sigh. The cowboy truly is a fool for not listening to his teammates or, as he likes to call them, partners. Hopefully, after their mission here, Hanzo will have enough proofs of the man’s incompetence to get Winston to fire him. Or at least, make him do something useful for once.

When they arrive at the warehouse, Soldier 76 sends them away by pairs to take a look at the city. They will have to defend a point in the middle of a garden near Lijiang’s tower and he doesn’t want them getting lost during a mission. Of course, Hanzo gets paired with McCree and rolls his eyes as the cowboy starts talking excitedly about the mission. He uselessly points out emplacements from where Hanzo could shoot their enemies as if the archer couldn’t do it himself and by the time they come back at the warehouse, Hanzo can’t help but snap at the stupid cowboy, spilling all his salt on the man. Mei tries to calm him down and offers him some tea she bought during her recon. Hanzo accepts and puts all his remaining energy into ignoring McCree.

The next morning, they wake up early and get in position to defend the point. McCree somehow manages to break a statue as they wait and Hanzo lets a string of curses escape him. How could this man be a true agent? He was going to get himself killed at the first occasion. _He’s just going to slow us down._ Hanzo thinks as his com cracks to life in his ear.

“McCree, focus.” Comes 76’s voice.

“Yessir! Understood, sir!” The man drawls in response.

Hanzo can see Soldier 76 tilt his head forward, as if sighing when movement catches his eyes on the other side of the place. He notches one of his arrows, aims and releases it before the enemy can draw his gun. The arrow arrives right between the man’s eyes with a thud, drawing everyone’s attention on the fallen agent.

“Get ready and remember to only use your com for the mission. Especially you, McCree.”

After that, it only takes a few minutes for their enemies to arrive. At first, only a few Talon agents appear, moving stealthily towards the point. Soldier 76 and Hanzo easily take care of them but soon, their number increases and they are overwhelmed. Hanzo repositions himself closer to the point, firing arrow after arrow until he runs out. When his hand meets his last arrow, he curses.

“I only have one arrow left.” He warns through the com.

When the answer comes back, he hears gunfire around. “Then get on the point and watch out for snipers, we got everything under control here.” McCree answers him. “There’s a window on the second floor and I’m pretty sure we’re getting shot at from there.”

“Understood.”

Hanzo jumps from the roof he was on and into a side street near the point then runs to join his teammates. He knocks out two agents on his way and scoffs. They certainly don’t have things under control if they let their enemies wander that close to the point but Hanzo says nothing and scales the side of the night market. Once the second floor reached, he passes through a window and looks down.

There are no enemies on the point, only McCree tossing flashbangs, rolling out of danger and taking down enemies faster than they can come up. Hanzo stares at the scene before him, baffled. How could McCree be able to defend the point on his own? The man accidentally broke a _statue_ only a few hours ago, there is no way he’s skilled enough to be of any use and yet, here he is. Lining up his opponents before taking them down as if it was as easy and natural as breathing.

A bullet passes inches from Hanzo’s face, making him remember the sniper McCree mentioned. Swearing upon his unprofessionalism, Hanzo prepares his arrow and tries to locate the sniper. When he sees them, he aims and shoots. The arrow hits its mark in the chest and the enemy drops their rifle. Hanzo lets out a sigh and leans against the wall, looking back down at McCree. He watches the cowboy move, analyzing his movements and wonders how someone so skilled can change so much out of the battlefield. It makes no sense. It’s like McCree is too different persons at the same time. It deeply annoys him and Hanzo decides to investigate.

Once the enemies stop coming and Soldier 76’s voice comes through the com, telling them that the mission is over, Hanzo jumps down, right in front of McCree and scrutinizes him.

“Somethin’ wrong, darling’?” McCree chuckles awkwardly.

Hanzo leans back, frowning. “You fought way better than I first expected.”

“Aw, thanks. You fought well too, we make a good team!” The cowboy exclaims, a stupid smile plastered across his face.

“Am I seeing this right? Hanzo finally decided to be nice with you, Eastwood?” Lúcio asks, taping McCree’s shoulder.

“I don’t see what ya mean, Lúcio. I already told ya he was nice with me.” He says, slightly puffing out his chest. Hanzo makes a noise of disgust. This couldn’t be the same man.

Their mission at Lijiang’s tower lasts a week and Hanzo lets McCree spend as much time with him as he wants, eager to find out how exactly someone can be such a fool outside the battlefield only to become one of Overwatch’s best agent when needed. However, they complete their mission before Hanzo can find out anything. He has spent a lot of time watching McCree fight, more than he would ever admit spending but the mystery remains and it frustrates him.

So when they finally get back to their base at Gibraltar, Hanzo begrudgingly accepts to spend more time with the goofy man. They go shopping, they take tea together, Hanzo no longer pretends to listen or ignore McCree’s rambling and pays attention to the cowboy’s words.

Everyone starts thinking that they get along so Winston sends them on more missions and every time he can, Hanzo watches McCree fight. But it’s not enough. Hanzo still can’t find out why McCree acts the way he does outside of the battlefield so he asks the cowboy if they can train together and ignores the warmth blossoming in his chest when McCree says yes.

* * *

 

After a year of fighting together and spending so much time trying to understand, Hanzo finds the company enjoyable and no longer complains about the cowboy’s attitude to Winston. He starts taking his defense whenever someone insults him for his clumsiness and Hanzo naturally helps him out around the base. When he sees McCree is about to knock something out with his wild hand gestures, Hanzo catches it before it falls. When McCree is about to collide with any surface, Hanzo catches the man’s arm and orientates him and each time, the cowboy says “Thanks, Darlin’.” With his big goofy smile, Hanzo can feel the heat creeping behind his cheeks. So he turns his head and says “Be more careful, you fool.” But it doesn’t have the same bite it had when they first met, now the words are pronounced with a certain fondness which doesn’t escape Genji’s notice.

“What do you think of Jesse now, brother?” Genji asks him one night.  

“I still do not understand him.” Hanzo answers softly.

“But I wasn’t I right when I told you to give him time?” His brother’s amused tone would have irritated him a year ago but now Hanzo looks down at his tea cup, a small smile forming on his lips.

“Yes, you were right about him. His company can be…” Hanzo pauses, looking for the right word. “Pleasant.”

“You love him.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement and it makes Hanzo spill some of his tea.

“I…“ He can feel the heat radiating from his face and Genji chuckles.

“You should tell him how you feel.” Ganji says softly when Hanzo finally looks at him. “Jesse is too oblivious to get anything if you do not tell him directly.”

“I wish it was that simple.” Hanzo whispers, looking away.

“It is.” Genji nudges his shoulder and Hanzo is 100% sure Genji is wiggling his eyebrows behind his mask. “Just say ‘I love you’!”

Hanzo feels the heat behind his cheeks spreading to his ears and he’s sure that if he looked at himself in the mirror, he would see the deepest shade of red.

The next day, Genji keeps pushing Hanzo to confess by finding new ways to get him and the cowboy stuck together in isolated places. Of course, just like Genji said the night before, McCree is totally oblivious to what’s going on and he keeps being his clumsy goofy self, telling Hanzo about that one time he ended up going to the medbay because he managed to break the straps and get stuck in his own chestplate but didn’t think he should notify his commander about it, so he just stopped taking showers and kept the same clothes for a week before the smell alerted everyone. He had gotten a skin sickness and had been called “McStink” for 2 years.

At lunch, Genji tries to get McCree to invite Hanzo out for dinner at one of the local restaurants but the cowboy doesn’t get any of the hints and just asks the archer if he wants to go into town for something in particular. Hanzo is about to say no when Genji hits him under the table and answers for him.

“Yes, good idea! Hanzo told me he needs to buy new clothes soon.” Genji exclaims. “Maybe you could help him chose something a bit more casual, Jesse.”

“Really? I’d love to help ya chose somethin’ different, Hanzo.”

“Thank you, McCree.” He groans, rubbing his leg.

Before they go, Genji approaches Hanzo and wispers. “Take him to the lingerie store.”

“Fuck you, Genji.” Hanzo whispers back, his face bright red.

“Anytin’ wrong, darling’?” McCree asks, looking down at him.

_Yes, I love you._ Hanzo thinks, becoming even redder. “Everything is fine.” He mumbles.

On their way to the store, Hanzo tries to mentally prepare himself, repeating the words in his head like a mantra _. McCree, there is something I wish to tell you: I love you_. But whenever he opens his mouth, nothing comes out and he finds himself gaping at thin air.

When they arrive at the store, McCree proposes a few shirts he thinks would look good on him and Hanzo tries them all. When he only picks two shirts out of the pile, McCree frowns and comes back with t-shirts.

“It would be a shame t’walk this far only ta get a couple a’ shirts.” He says, handing the new pile to the archer.

Hanzo takes the pile and goes back to the cabin, trying each T-shirt and getting out to show his favorites to the cowboy.

At the end of the day, Hanzo bought 2 shirts, 3 t-shirts and a new pair of running shoes. McCree insists to help him carry them and Hanzo blurts out.

“I have something to tell you!”

McCree looks a bit surprised but smiles nonetheless. “I’m listenin’.”

It then takes approximately 15 minutes to Hanzo to try to explain what he feels for the cowboy. Beside him, McCree is completely oblivious and doesn’t see where Hanzo’s trying to get. Any metaphor is taken too seriously, any subtlety taken too lightly. Until he blurts out:

“I like _like_ you, you fool!”

Silence settles between them as McCree’s face becomes increasingly red. He drops the bags he has been holding and starts to gesture widely, opening and closing his mouth without saying anything, much like Hanzo had done only a few hours ago.

“I-I-I… What? You? I?” McCree starts, gesticulating so much that Hanzo gets worried he’ll knock himself out. He approaches, trying to catch the cowboy’s arms to stop the upcoming disaster only to receive the man’s metal arm in his chin. Hanzo hears McCree swear and apologize before falling unconscious on the ground.

When he wakes up later in the medbay, McCree is by his side, with an exasperated Angela. She tells him to be more careful around the goof and walks away.

“I’m so sorry, Darlin’, I really didn’t mean ta knock you out like that.”

Hanzo sighs. “It is fine.”

“I got the time ta think while you were unconscious tho.” McCree says softly, looking to the side. Hanzo tenses. “An’ I think I like _like_ you too.”

Hanzo’s heart leaps in his throat as McCree takes his hand and lays kisses on his knuckles. Without thinking, he grips the collar of the fool’s shirt and leans in for a kiss. The first of many they would start sharing.


End file.
